Gears of War is the next 300. Gears of War is the next Lord of The Rings. Except it will have no story/suck. They should make it the next Beowulf.

Gears of War is the next 300. Gears of War is the next Lord of The Rings. Except it will have no story & it will suck. They should make it the next Beowulf.

They should make it the next Beowulf.

Beowulf is gonna suck so bad it's gonna be awesome--just read this awesome review:
http://www.denofgeek.com/movies/6176/beowulf_review.html

But, see, that's the problem. I'm never quite sure if it is knowing or not. There's enough in BEOWULF! that tries (and fails so miserably) to be serious that the line between intentional humour (of which there is definitely a fair dollop, especially in the slapstick fight sequences) and embarrassing absurdity is frequently too blurry to comprehend. It reminded me a lot of The Wicker Man remake for sheer "what were they thinking!?" value and I forsee a lot of pannings from critics on the horizon. It's a mess, frankly. I am still unable to work out exactly what market they're aiming at. Too silly for the Tolkien mob, too anachronistic and blindingly off-the-mark for the scholastic crowd, way too bloody for kids and yet too mind-numbingly stupid for adults. If you switch your brain off and just take it in as one of the most gloriously misguided, overblown spectacles of Dumb that you're ever likely to see, you'll have a blast. Otherwise, you're in for a very long two hours.

I hope they fire StuartyB and hire the Beowulf screenwriters.

I hope Cliffyb and WyckyG all make cameo appearances, along with the Wall Street bankers financing New Line's crap. In fact, the whole lot of them can play the Locust Horde.

I remember one time I brought up Shakespeare/Story, and they banned me from Hollywood.

Has Cliffyb ever read a book? what book? What about wyckyg? In addition to chasing ambulances, does he read?

Read up on all the Cliffyb 300 Lord of The Rings hype/Lies:
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=cliffyb+300
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&safe=off&sa=X&oi=spell&resnum=0&ct=result&cd=1&q=cliffyb+lord+of+the+rings&spell=1

Hears a Gears of The Ring, where cliffyb gives epic art, story, and JRR Tolkien the middle finger: http://kotaku.com/gaming/heart-breaking/cliffy-b-talks-gears-of-the-rings-299077.php?cpage=2

Anyways, Beowulf is gonna rock!!! Did New Line produce it?